"
Pretty Summer love-stories
and dreams suspended in time
Hopes, wishes, allusions,
alluding to You.
how they make your heart ache and your bones freeze quick.
the memories of you are gone,
and I can no longer see your face
when i close my eyes and squeeze
i can see brief moments - postcards cemented in time -
the splay of your skin on sheets,
a strand or two of your hair,
falling out of line, masquerading
as problems before your eyes,
your tender cheeks, your smile,
an ear here and there,
the miles we drove, but - to where?
A sleeping bag, a letter,
Our music - My music.
I remember your tears,
i remember your spiteful temper,
your anger, your fractured self,
your brokenness, your damage.
I remember you falling out of love
I remember falling in love,
I remember making myself love you.
But for some reason, I loved you.
I don't remember why I stayed,
nor why I let myself get lost,
why I gave away my happiness
for the brevity and shallowness
of the comfort you gave me.
And I don't know where you are now,
nor how we found ourselves apart,
My eyes are shut, my ears, ringing,
my heart, emptied of you,
my heart sealed shut.
But somehow, I miss you.
The wind picked up
And my body roared,
My throat closed up
As the waves broke wildly,
As the current carried you away from me,
And the sandy shore was then
Made barren, made desolate,
Emptied of you.
Choking back tears, holding
On to the memories
And the faint, dim pictures
In my mind (forever fading,
forever departed),
with the strength of a god,
with the strength of a frightened child,
hungry, and laughing in the dark.
Echoes of
Heartbeats heard in the silent places,
Those places from where
Language and light
Flee.
My mad disposition, the insane,
Hurtful gleam in my eye,
A mirror of the suffering of ages,
Catches sight of what appears
To be you, but materializes
Into a stand of
Trees, a grove of illusion,
Tugging on heartstrings cut
By bitter love.
This is an ode to your memory,
To your existence in place, in time,
An ocean away from my
Clenched jaw,
from my beating heart,
From the callow tears that fall for you.
"so if your lover should leave don't get too sad
and don't compose epic poems to win her back
'cause when your bird has flown, she'll never return home
though all your life you'll wait she never will return"
It's nights like these when you need someone the most, but there's no one to be found.
"Love is a losing game..."
When a relationship ends, I swear to myself that I'll never fall in Love again.
When I inevitably do, I never want it to end.
This paradoxical cycle of love and unavoidable loss - these experiences are what you live for; they're what makes life worth it.
Will.
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